I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
- Woody Allen

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
- Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
- Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
- Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have any fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
- Woody Allen

My brain? It's my second favorite organ.
- Woody Allen

My ex-husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.
- Woody Allen

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty..
- Woody Allen